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Ignorance and a lack of understanding often lead to a fear of persons
or groups who are unfamiliar or different from ourselves. In times of war
this fear can be exacerbated by the very human need to blame someone or
something for situations that are out of our control. But it is at these
very times, when people seem to adopt an "us against them" mentality, when
we all must work especially hard to remain in control of our emotions and
actions. When people try to make sense out of conflict and issues that are
hard to understand, they may make assumptions, discriminate against others
because they do not look the same or feel the same, and buy in to biases
and stereotypes.
Use the following tips to help you promote tolerance and respect in
these uncertain times:
- See each person as an individual. Do not attribute the actions
or opinions of a few people to an entire race, religion or group of
people — that is stereotyping. Think about all of the people who share
your race, ethnicity, religion or political affiliation, and how much
diversity there is in their feelings, opinions and actions.
- Learn more about people of other cultures, religions and ideologies.
Make a point to talk with people you know who are different from
you. Read articles or books about different cultures and viewpoints.
Keep an open mind.
- Identify and challenge your own biases. Never spread rumors or
participate in conversations that perpetuate stereotypes.
Challenge acts of discrimination.
- Teach tolerance and acceptance of differences to children.
Children learn attitudes, values and behaviors at home, in their
neighborhood, in school, and through the media. Be aware of what you say
and do in front of children. Call attention to prejudice in things they,
or others, may say or do. Talk openly about diversity, how to respect
all people, and why it is important.
- Respect opinions that are different than your own.
We all approach issues with our own set of values and
experiences guiding our views. Americans are proud of this diversity and
share a number of important beliefs -- in democracy, in freedom of
speech, and in the right to worship as they choose. Never use hostile
comments or aggression to try to get your point across, and challenge
such behavior from others.
Dealing with Different Opinions About the War
An added stressor in many homes and communities is conflict over
differing opinions about the war. Individual values, cultural norms,
political opinions and past experiences with war drive people’s viewpoints
about our government’s actions and motives. A situation of this magnitude
creates extremely strong emotions in people, and some are finding
themselves in conflict with their neighbors and even members of their
families.
The following tips may help you cope with conflict and anger during
these emotional and divisive times:
- Talk about your feelings with a friend or family member. If you
don’t happen to agree, respect their right to their opinion, and remain
calm and accepting. Feeling angry is a normal response, but acting on
that anger with violence or hostility is never appropriate.
- Channel strong feelings into helping others. There are many
people and organizations that could use help in times of crisis. Contact
a local school, military base, children’s relief organization, blood
donation center or community center, and see how you can help.
- Continue with your normal activities. Retaining a sense of
control over your life, especially when so much feels out of your
control, can help fight feelings of stress and helplessness. Limit your
exposure to television coverage or debate about the war.
- Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Instead of helping to drown
troubles, drugs and alcohol often create more. Drugs and alcohol have a
way of accentuating strong emotions while diminishing the ability to
make good decisions. This is a dangerous combination, particularly when
strong, varied opinions are already causing conflict in many homes and
communities.
- If you have trouble coping with your anger, or if any powerful
emotions affect your day-to-day life, seek help. Contact a mental health
professional, doctor, clergy member, or employee assistance program;
they are there to help.
- If you experience discrimination or are the victim of a hate
crime, document the incident and immediately report it to local
authorities or your employer’s human resources department. Seek
support from neighbors, friends, victim’s assistance organizations,
support groups or your faith community. Ask children how they are being
treated at school and notify school administrators of any concerns.
Mental Health America has several resources available
to help you and others cope with our ongoing national crisis, including
fact sheets on post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, coping with
loss, helping children handle war, and other topics.
For more information, contact the Mental Health Association of Fauquier
County at 540-341-8732 or Mental Health America at
800-969-NMHA (6642) or
www.nmha.org.
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